#realtalk: from pregnancy to costco navigation

chaos quote

The past three months have been insane. Now, normally when those feelings are emulated, they are usually said with the premise of a big project at work or something crazy at home or a lot of traveling. Insane doesn’t even do my current life state justice. In the past three months I have: discovered I’m pregnant, quit my job, moved from my beloved Milwaukee, WI to where my boyfriend Mr. A resides and our hometown, Rochester, MN (can I mention it was the coldest winter in 32 years…), started a new job, bought a house with Mr. A, moved into said new home (again, 30 some days of negative temps), become a fiancee (or as Mr. A likes to call it, I was Beyonce-d), and inherited a Phoebe dog.

Needless to say, I’ve become pretty good at taking life as it comes and accepting expectations aren’t always going to be the reality. That might sound obvious, but trust me, it’s a hard life lesson to realize. I’ve always been a fan of plans and life maps and mine was set with how I wanted it to go. This was my first crack; something I didn’t plan and completely out of order that affected everything after it. It wasn’t until I accepted it, that I realized, this new plan was a better plan than the one I planned.

This is my attempt to recap and restart my documentation.

Baby on Board:
Mr. A and I found out we were pregnant on Dec. 3, 2013 and literally the next month and a half can be summed up with one word: worthless. Forget morning sickness, they should call it, “attach a barf bag to your face.” I lost 10 pounds and for sure wasn’t glowing. Having a mini baby parasite suck everything I could keep down coupled with barely being able to keep my eyes open past 7:00 pm, I looked like a character on the Walking Dead. It’s embarrassing how many times I caught myself staring off into space with my mouth hanging open, too sick and exhausted to even think.

I already never wanted to be pregnant again. It was so hard to focus on the miracle that Alex and I made a human with a human brain and 10 human fingers and 10 human toes. To be honest it was terrifying. I wasn’t my normal Amy-busy-body self. I didn’t go to the gym, keep up with friends, or even look at my arts, crafts, and kitchen gadgets. I felt sad and zapped of all energy. I was nervous I wasn’t doing things right and constantly googling every single symptom, what-if, and how-likely scenario that popped into my head (no matter how crazy…).

On a brighter note though! I was able to find some solace in cheeze its, oranges, chocolate milk, naked juice (because making my own smoothie was way too much work and don’t even get me started on grocery shopping), Mr. A’s texts, phone calls, and visits (he was still 300 miles away at this point), and Netflix (specifically Revenge and reruns of the Office).

PS. I never thought it would, but at around 16 weeks, I started feeling better. I still don’t feel “normal,” but I can make it through the day with a little zip and pep in my old step. As easy as it is to just want to curl up and go to sleep, try to keep up your normal routine as much as possible. Tone it down obviously, but being around family and friends and staying busy, helps keep your brain off how gross you feel.

One more thing…

As great as mommy forums and baby bump blogs are, for me, they increased my worrisome tendencies greatly. It seemed everyone was miscarrying and missed miscarriages were even more frequent (in reality, they’re rare). Forgive this analogy, it could be poor taste, but the imagery made me feel better. I concluded it works similar to when people give reviews online. More times people are likely to give reviews and share stories if it was a bad experience than a good; those forums are a very skewed and small sample pool. It’s great to be able to share the experience with other pregnant, mommy-to-be’s, but everyone is different. Limit your time and stay away from google searching weird symptoms. My doctor advised me to join a local support pregnancy group through the hospital, stick to information not forums, and call her with any question I had. She also mentioned, unless you’re in a LOT of pain or there’s blood involved, you and baby are just fine.

The Move and New Crib:
new home owners

Mr. A’s and I’s new digs are perfect. It’s a 1.5 story, 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, red, cape cod style home with a picket fence around the back yard. It was move in ready and versatile enough for us to live comfortably in it now, but at the same time, TONS of opportunity for upgrades. So far, we’re having fun developing plans to make it our own. I’ll keep you posted as to how it goes… so far, Mr. A has described my taste as “girly and college-y.” Awk.

The Proposal:
How rude of me. Let me introduce you to Mr. A, the boy in my life. Alex (Mr. A) and I met at Winona State University in 2006 as mere teeny-bopper babies. We dated for nearly three years and I thought he was going to be my first and last love. I day dreamed about becoming Mrs. White and it was the only time in my life I felt completely head-over-heels in love. As most college relationships go however, ours met the same dramatic demise and that was that. My day dream was over and we both moved along to separate life paths.

Mine to Milwaukee, WI where I fell in love with the city, living blocks to Lake Michigan, and becoming involved with young professional organizations and outreach and Mr. A to grad school, vast travel, as well as a great gig at the Mayo Clinic.

Fast forward three more years where the spark was kept alive with the occasional text, birthday facebook post, email, catch-up  over a cup o’ joe and we meet again. Our stories intertwine. This time in Milwaukee where Mr. A is giving a presentation and it just so happens to be my golden, 27th birthday weekend celebration. You can guess the rest. :)

Mr. A proposed yesterday, on Monday, March 3, 2014. We just got back from TJ Maxx and buying a few things to pimp out our crib (and by pimp out our crib, we bought a shower curtain and dog bowls for puppy). Mr. A came in with a half-completed puzzle and asked me to help finish it. From the section that was completed, I could tell it was a photo of Mr. A in front of our new house. My first reaction? “Hey, why didn’t you wait to get a picture with both of us?” He mumbled some excuse of having a coupon or a sale followed by, “Oh lets just finish putting it together.” Soon I realized there were a chunk of pieces missing and asked where they were. Mr. A, feigning confusion, thought they might be in the car, and returned with the pieces. As soon as he set them down, I knew what it was and in tears, put the last six pieces in their place. When it was complete, the chunk that was missing was a large sign with the words “Marry Me?!” on it. I turned around to a teary-eyed Mr. A with a ring box.

We had never had a single discussion about getting engaged before baby. He didn’t even have a clue as to what kind of engagement rings suited my fancy. I was completely surprised. He knocked everything out of the park. My new bling blang is a family heirloom that originated with his Paternal Great-Grandmother and is 136 years old. It’s a solitaire, round cut, in a beautiful setting with a “W” on each side. Fun fact: Mr. A’s great-grandmother and original ring wearer just so happens to be the Aunt of Jimmy Dean (yes, the sausage and country music star)!


Which brings me to today. I’m 20 weeks pregnant. I have a tiny little belly for the first time in my life and I pee a little when I sneeze (also a first, in case you’re wondering)… Life is somewhat more normal; slowing down and the ability to focus is more intact. Take today for instance:

Today we went to Costco and after much debate and research, Mr. A bought a new TV. It’s a fancy kind and came with 3D glasses. He loves it so much, he slept with it. Literally. He fell asleep watching a movie after I had gone to bed. When I noticed his absence at 3:30 in the morning, I went down to turn off the TV and tell him to come to bed. His response? “No, I’m sleeping with my TV tonight.”

“Ok, weirdo,” I said as I went back upstairs thinking I’m the luckiest girl in the world.


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